BEWARE OF WOMEN!!!

 

Dear World Men, 

This is an open letter to all of you.

I am Sir Ediote Misogyne writing to you from the underworld. You see I was alive like you, living in the ordinary world many many hundred years ago, in the time when life was perfect to be precise.I know that you are very surprised and finding it a little hard to believe me. Well do not be. I have no inclination or desiration to try to convince you of my identity. Your believerance or non-believerance is of little importantation. What is important is what I am about to tell you in this letter.

(Importance notice: Not to be boast but I have learned how to talk and speak like you alls by simply observationing. I am very smart like that, but it has been long since I left the world so per'don any errorz in my languagation).

While observationing all these years since I was in the underworld it has been one shocking thing mine eyes doth see or the other. Many a thing have changed in the world from the things I used to know.

You people talk through tiny rectangle things to one another and fly in the sky in the belly of giant birds, and move about in giant boxes that do not need horses. All a things maketh me impressation.

However, one thing faileth not to keep my mind disturbed: women!!!

How see you all not that fire sits atop the mountain!

Be wary 'o lads! Hurry and subdue the women! They planneth a revolution to taketh by force your rightful place. When I, alive and well was a lad, we kept the women in check from their births to their deaths. Can you not see that you are being outnumbered by those vile creatures???

In my days when men still had testicles on their johns, having a wife that gave birth to too many female children was a crime. We madeth sure that any woman that had too many of those evil little minions was punished straight away to warneth the others to ensureth that their wombs were purely conditioneth to create strong baby boys, but look at the disgrace that you all are now! Letting stupid women breed their kind to outnumber you? You don't know that is a part of their evil world takeover scheme?

In my days, when the wenches eventually gave birth to their wenches, we wereth merciful enough to keep them around. The extra merciful among us would circumcisation them so that their devil souls would be sanctified enough to escape hell and enter purgatory. Then they would be kept in the house to learn how to run a home, to sew, to bathe babies, to polish the floor, to knit, to dress beds, TO COOK, to act with elegance, to not talk to loud or laugh too loud or exist to loud, to apply rouge and look pretty, to know how to bat eyelashes, to be idiots, because what do they need to be smart for?

But you foolish lot letteth them start getting education! At first it began with teaching them numbers so I did not mind. I knew it would not hurt to teach them how to count for better home management. Then you let them learn how to read and write whole sentences?! You people must have gone bongers! I thought it would end there, that they would only be taught to read and write a little before being given off to marriage as usual, but you fools endeth it not there. You started letting those spawns of the devil learn other things like many other languages and art and music.

In my time women lived to serve their husbands and take care of their children till they died, and they did it with great devotion, but look at what the world has become now. Your women are no longer content with cooking and cleaning and caring for their young ones. They now have the audacitation to want more, to be more, to demand more. How dare they!

It is you I blame. In my time, women were allowed to vote not. What were they voting for? A woman knows nothing about politics and all the grit it required. What is in a woman's head except the desire for her husband and the yearning to care for her children? How would an overly emotional creature be allowed to have a say in matters as importance as politics? Yet you allowed them, you allowed them to vote and even to contest in elections. Now see the mess they have made out of the world. Shame on you. You allow women do things that were exclusively your privilegation— going to school, voting, driving machinery, earning money, swearing, jeering, speaking too loud, laughing too loud, existing too loud. I blame all you for the mess our world has become.

Do you see how you speak and they speak back?  Do you see the type of apparel they adorneth themselves with? How they dictate rules about their bodies as if we do not own them? How they are no longer ashamed of not being seen as fit for marriage after they age and nobody picks them? There is no more shame!

They no longer understand that the only thing we need them for is child bearing and maybe pleasure, but without them we'd be quite fine. You no longer discipline them! That is why they are out of control. I always said it. Women are like children or pets, if you don't train them they poo all over. They are things to be acquired like expensive  furniture and kept to serve, to be admired, to be looked at, to speak to when you are bored, to pleasure yourself with, to hold children.

You have gone too soft, perhaps because you did not know how criticalation the matter at hand is.

Men are to lead, control, command, discipline, protect and provide as he sees fit, while women are to cook, clean, direct the servants, care for younglings, submit and obey everything the man over her head commands. That is how it has been from the beginning before those foul things became too much ambitionation!

I wrote this letter because I could not take it anymore. Watching these filthy women ruin the world made me uncomfortable in the grave so I had to send this letter as soon as possiblation. The women are already bosses of some of you and political leaders and many big things. Be warned! They are planning to strip you of your manly glory and rule over you, then keep you in their homes to cook and clean and care for offspring (they aren't even keen on birthing offspring these days). We need to stop them my world comrades. I trust that you will do well with the information I have given you. Do be well. 

Yours in bones and Skeletons,

Sir Ediot Misogyne.

Author's note: Happy International Women's Day. I hope we continue giving Mr Misogyne nightmares!

Cheers to embracing equity and being allowed to exist freely and fully. Cheers. 

P.S I hope his language wasn't too difficult for you to understand. I tried to create a fictious one, but I don't think it was very consistent and I apologise, hehe. 

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