ALL THE THINGS I WANT(ed) TO WRITE ABOUT

 

This is a list of things I have thought of writing about these past few months but I haven't exactly gotten around to. I have a long list, but these are a few of them.

I.

We had just concluded the burial rites of one of my grandmothers and grief was all I could feel enough to write about at the beginning of the year. I wanted to write about the grief that comes from losing a loved one and the many ways it changes you, little by little, how on some days it is a dull pain and on other days, when you least expect, it surprises you by suddenly becoming a bleeding wound and even though you clutch your chest to apply pressure, the bleeding doesn't stop, BUT I did not because I could not find words enough to write away what I was feeling plus, it was a new year and for some reason it did not feel appropriate for the season<y'all see the rhymeee in this sentence????hehehee >

II 

I wanted to write about my grandmother.  I wanted to write about all the memories of her that I could still remember, how the first time she scolded me, it was for being afraid and the second time was for playing too rough. I wanted to write about how much she loved farming and all of us, how her "I love you" was in wraps of akpu and kegs of palm oil and lots of plantain and golden morn and serving you food that you could hardly finish and in "ego i ga-eji zuta biscuit"<money to buy biscuit–no matter how old you were, hehe> and in sharing parts of the scripture she felt were speaking to her when we had family devotion and in lengthy prayers in Igbo that we<I, really> only knew to say "amen" to after hearing "n'aha Jisos"<because our, er I mean my Igbo is a bit shaky, hehe>.

I wanted to write about the many things she was that I did not know of until she died and I only read about in her biography. I only knew her as my soft grandmother that loved God and prayed a lot and always gave me gifts from her "American goody bag", but she was a lot more, she was a rebel that fought for the things she believed in, she was a home keeper, a mother and a lover of humanity.

She was one of those things you always imagine you would see the next morning, like the palm tree in your backyard that you never imagine would disappear, until one day, it's gone. Her death was a rude shock but she lived a full beautiful life. I wanted to write about my grandmother and maybe I just did, hehehe. 

III

I wanted to make a list of my favourite songs and give reasons why I like them, but my music taste is weird and needs a lot of refining and I am very shy. I don't want you people to think that I'm not okay in the head. 

IV

I wanted to write about how I think that there are brilliant writers that write rubbish. Brilliant oh, but rubbish still. I wanted to write about how important it is for anyone to wear a mental sieve while they read anything because you don't want your mind messed up now, do you?

I wanted to, but I didn't, because art is subjective and just maybe, the things I write are rubbish to someone else too, hehehe.

<even if you think it's rubbish, still read my blog oh, and support here so that I can make it better, teinkxxx> 

V

I want to write about these South Korean romantic comedies and how I used to think I had outgrown them but now, guess who is binge-watching Kim Mi So and Lee Hyeong Sung?<inserts pawpaw with chewing stick meme>

I want to write about how I think that they are not as unrealistic as people say they are.

Maybe just a little, but not totally. All the lead actors do is love each other and find ways to make each other's lives better. How is that sooooo unrealistic? Is real life that love-deprived?

I want to write about it, but I'm in indabosky mode. Can't be caught writing about anything connected to romance, tuehhhhh!

VI

I want to write about Nigeria and all the ways it has hurt us, but I don't have the energy. Where will I start from? Where will it end? 

VII

I want to write about all the reasons why I think writers make terrible lovers to their fellow writers, but I don't have enough evidence to back it up.

If you have seen two writers loving each other before please tell me about it in the comments. 

VIII

I want to write about how I don't think you can "unlove" a person even after they make painfully grand exits out of your life. I think the love just changes form, sits in the corner instead of shouting and waving, becomes something blunt, breathing in and out slow enough to resemble something dead, turning into a calm lake instead of a raging sea etc etc, you get the point sha, hehehe.

Howeeeever I'm not writing about zhis because I have a reputation to protect. An indabosky one. 

IX

I want to write a story about a woman that comes back to life after hundred years. She dies in 1918 but after fiddling with the sceptre of one of the guardians in the realm of the after life, she finds herself alive in 2022. I want to write about her shock, the confusion she would feel especially about the evolution of women's fashion, how she tries to navigate through the new life she has found herself in and at the story climax, if she chooses to go back to the realm of the afterlife when she has the chance or chooses to remain in the world as it is.

I think it would be a beautiful story but I'm not too sure of how to fit it into a blogpost. It should be a novel right? Maybe I should write a novel. 

X

I want to write an apology note, to my blog readers, friends, enemies and colleagues for almost always going off the grid and replying texts really late, and not being available half the time. I want to say I'm sorry and I will do better, but omooo that would be very dishonest. I plan to be better though, to learn discipline, to stick to schedule and be consistent. So help me God.

AUTHOR'S NOTE 

Thank you for reading this through. I might make a part two of this, because there are still a lot of other things floating around in my mind. I have slacked off a lot. ASUU messed up my plans and I've been grieving the disorganisation of all my arrangements, but I don't want to do that anymore. When life gives us strike, we use it to strike like thunderrrrrrrr! <inserts extreme haughty laughter>. Yes, I will learn to make better jokes too.

Tell me in the comments, what would you like to write about if you had the chance to?